gratitude

i just readover my last few posts
and noticed the lack of gratitude
did i mention how friggin grateful i am?
i can't even begin to express my thanks to the universe
for all of the abudance that it continues to throw my way
thank you
thank you
thank you
i am so blessed
love light and laughter
roll around in the joy that is
this life
here
right now

losing track

my oh my





oh my
omy








ouch
and







hurumph






























everymorning it feels like i've been hit by a semi-truck
my friend said welcome to nyc when i told him that
i've lost track of how many days in a row ive been at work
i picked up a shift on my one day off this month
i gave notice at big daddy's
it wasn't my thing
too old for diner work
i've traded in for an awesome job at
the world famous John's Pizzeria on Bleeker St.
it's divine
i'm the first girl too work there in a very long time
and i think the boys are pretty excited
i know i am
its a family run operation
and i already feel a part of the family
a bunch of my sf friends have worked there
or work there now
and i love it!
im going to work one job while I house hunt so i have time to look at places
keep me in your prayers
the apartment search is INSANE!!
loads of love
drea

me after a double

eyes twitching
make up smeared
day 10 of 18 days in a row with
no day off
i guess i used up all my days off in italy
trying to keep it one day at a time
but its hard not to think ahead
if my body holds up i think
my spirit will too
love and light

sorry

im so busy i hardly have time to sleep. im working two jobs now to get it together to move into my own place next month. when i have a minute i will write more. love you.

i want to be apart of it

Im tired. I'm working and sleeping these days. Trying to withold the urge to spend money. Saving. My job at the diner is good in many ways, but also really hard in others. I'm used to making a lot more money in a much shorter period of time. Apparently I am SUPER lucky, cause service jobs are hard to find right now, and its slow everywhere. It doesn't make it any easier though. Eight to nine hours with no break and crappy tips is hard. I know it will take some time to get settled, I just wish it didn't. Thank goddess for air conditioning! I have one in my room at home, and work is cool also. I'm trying to keep it really simple during the hot hours.
I'm getting to know a new side of myself here in NY. I feel much more free to say what I want and to not hold back my sarcastic commentary. I also curse a lot more. I think I need to work on that one, although I fit right in with everyone else.
I'm a bit lonely today for people who really know me. Its similar to the way I felt after a couple of weeks in Venice. I know this will pass too. Smiles and a sunny disposition ussually can cure a case of the grumps. Although, It is a bit harder to be all smilles and sunshine here, I think people pride themselves in being grumpy and bitter. I promise I won't let that happen to me world!! No matter how tired I get I will still smile and know that in the end it was all worth while!
P.S. to all of my italy friends...i miss you!
P.P.S. to all of my californis friends...call me..i miss you!
the fotos are of my subway ride to work..and of me at work..who's your daddy?

start spreading the news

Well, I did it. I moved to New York City. It is really a dream come true. I moved here a week ago and yesterday I moved into my sublet in Brooklyn. I'm staying with Zeb and Kirsten for a couple of months while I get settled. I was hired at the first place I interviewed and started work the next day. There are no labor laws in NYC so I have been working doubles and crazy hours. Last night I worked from 11pm to 6am and I wanted to kill myself this morning. I am still super tired and its 4 in the afternoon. I love you all so much and will try to keep the blog up once a week or so so stay tuned.

back in the usa

I'm home. After 20 hours of airports, and airplanes, I made it. After I got to JFK I headed for my old roomie and friend Lyn's house in Greenwich. It was super surreal walking in the door of the house because Lyn's house in SF is where I was living before I left on my trip, and all of her stuff is the same as it was in California. So it really felt like I was coming home, even though I'm no where near San Fran. It has been great catching up with Lyn and hanging out with my favorite dog Tula. The last two days have been consumed with phone calls to all my friends and family, emailing potential jobs, and eating as much of favorite american food as possible. Today I went to the stable with Lyn and watched her ride. It was so beautiful. She is an amazing horsewoman, and the stables were stunning. I'm really enjoying the new scenery of the East Coast. New life, new adventure.

cheers

helloo all you beautiful people!
I'm hanging in Dublin at the ole airport waiting for my flight to NY.
Last night in Madrid was wonderful.
I met a really cool lady named Ann and we had a yummy dinner and I ended up staying with her in her penthouse in the center of Madrid. Don't ask. I know, it's so crazy how wonderfully I am taken care of. I can't even begin to express my gratitude. Last night as I fell asleep in this big, comfortable double bed with air conditioning, all I could do was say thank you thank you thank you over and over.
Thank You!!
i'm excited to come back to the US and am so ready to start this next passage of time.
I'm landing tonight and then heading off to my old roomie from SF Lyn's cottage in Connecticut.
It will be so good to see her and Tula.
And then...well NYC here I come!!
I'll be sure to keep you posted. My cell phone should work as of tonight, so feel free to give me a ring
whenever.
Loads of Love and Light!!

when in rome

More photos from Rome. Maria was my beautiful guide. The photo of the crowd was from the Genesis 25th Anniversary concert at Circo Massimo. It was free and there were around 100,000 people there. It was insane!! I'm in madrid for a long layover, and tommorow its a day full of airports. I hate airports. Its fine once I'm on the plane, but the airport experience blows chunks if you ask me. Today I stood in five different lines before I got my bags checked. They wanted to charge me 86e for the extra 7kilos of weight that I had over the limit on my bag, so I had to get rid of some of my stuff at the airport. I said goodbye to Rick Steves and my Italian Vouge, and gave a pair of payless sandles to the girl at the counter and she waved the fee for the 3 or so kilos I still owed.

the last days of Rome

So happy, so tired, so much fun!! Once again I fell into the most beautiful of situations with the most beautiful of people. I was gifted with a new friend in Rome the beautiful Maria, friend of Rebecca in SF, a bright shiny Californian living abroad in Rome, who scooped me up and has given me the most amazing time the last three days in Rome. Here are some pictures, I'm in a lot of them cause I had a friend to take them, another huge gift. I will write some reflections and details soon. For now a huge thanks to Maria, and to the Universe for always giving me everything I need and more!!

the view from the mountain

Today Anna Olivia took me up to the Gran Sasso National Park. In the winter there is great skiing here. It was beautiful and COLD! What a nice treat. We rode the cable car thingy, you know it hangs from the cable, you ride them to go skiing? I can't remember what its called in English. Anyways, it was fun! After we came home and had lunch and I took a nap. I'm trying to get as many naps in before next week when my life gets busy again. The photos are of our trip to the mountains, the food cart outside of the cable stop( notice the cheese and wine) and of Tonino and Anna Oliivia at lunch.

hometown

Today I had the opportunity to see the town where my grandfather was born and grew up in. The Bernardi family still owns a couple of homes in the town and they spend every August here relaxing. It’s about a twenty-minute drive outside of L’Aquila through beautiful country. This region of Italy has really moderate weather in the summer. It’s about 65 today with a nice breeze. Absolutely beautiful! In the winter it snows and is freezing. Pedicciano is a tiny town that dates back to the Middle Ages. I think I understood that farmers have always lived in this area. The town’s current population is a whopping 70 people. The houses have small gardens where people grow there own fruit and veg. I was full of emotion visiting the town. I could almost feel my grandfather’s joy that I was able to see the place where he was from. I also had the chance to see a picture of his mother Francesca. After I asked to go to the cemetery so I could pay my respects to the family. I also had the chance to pick some green beans for dinner form the garden. It really made me want to have a garden, but I’m not sure I would be a very good gardener. Oh well, at least I had the chance to pick my own veggies once in this life. All of the photos today are from the town of Pedicciano, and the house is the one where my grandfather was born.

the otherside of the family

My train ride to L’Aquilla was one on the funniest parts of my trip. I missed my first connection because these old guys were talking to me and I think they wanted to drive me to my destination so they purposely failed to tell me that I was standing in the wrong place for the train. What were we talking about? Well it was in Italian, but I think they were giving me a hard time for being single. But that was okay because they had some nice potential husbands in town if I would just go with them. After I missed my train, I threw my first Italian princess fit in a long time. I yelled at them in Italian that it was their entire fault that I missed my train, and that I was tired and hungry and just wanted to get to my destination! The Italians loved this! It is amazing how well everyone responded to me getting mad. The old guys ran around and made sure I knew where my next train was coming from, and when I walked over to sit in the train and wait for it to depart, one of the old guys brought me a pannino. He then tried to get my phone number, young at heart these Italians, and always chasing tail.
The train was only one car, and it was almost empty. Half way through the trip it was totally empty, and I felt like I was being chauffeured around in my own private train. Out the window the view of the region of Abruzzo was lush and green. The train ride was through a beautiful valley. I took the opportunity to do some singing and dancing around until the train conductor came in and asked me to kindly stop doing gymnastics in the train.
When I arrived in L’Aquila my distant cousin Chiara was waiting for me. She is absolutely lovely. Chiara is 25 and a language student at the University in town. Her English is wonderful and it is so nice to have a local that speaks English to show me around the city. Did you know that L’Aquila is the town of 99 churches, 99 parks, 99 fountains, and 99 bottles of beer on the wall? As we drove to the apartment we passed by a few churches, and Chiara promised me that we wouldn’t have to go inside of any of them because she was sure that I was churched out after two months in Italy, I love this girl!!! We arrived at her apartment where she lives with her mother Anna Olivia, and her grandfather Tonino. Tonino is my father’s first cousin and absolutely adorable!! He is 86 years young and has been to America. Back during WW II he was a POW in an American camp in St. Louis and Texas. Not the best way to see the states. Apparently they fed him beans and meat for dinner. Yum! My grandfather went and visited him when he was being held captive. My grandfather also fought during WWII only he fought with the Americans against Italy. . It seems strange to me that two members of the same family could be fighting against each other in the same war.
It was so nice to arrive at my family’s home, because it really feels like family. I got to wash my clothes, take a long shower, and eat an amazing dinner. Just like home!! It’s a gift to be able to connect with my past and make relationships that will go on into the future. The pictures are of me in the square with 99 fountains, the bell tower in the center of L’Aquila and of Chaira and her beautiful friends. Chiara is the one next to me in the middle.

make me a channel

Make me a channel of thy peace;
That where there is hatred, I may bring love;
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
That where there is error, I may bring truth;
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
That where there is despair, I may bring hope;
That where there are shadows, I may bring light;
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Grant that I may seek rather to comfort that to be comforted;
To understand, than to be understood;
To love, than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life

may I bring light

The prayer of St. Francis is number one on my all time greatest hits prayer list. This day spent in Assisi was an attempt for me to get to know him a bit better. Assisi, wow, what a magical place. I immediately felt surrounded by spirit as I walked around, even in the squeltering heat. The first place I was led to was Santa Maria dell Angelo. This church was built over the chapel that St. Francis used to pray at and over the spot where he died. It’s a big church built over a little church. There is something very special about this spot, and I don’t think it has to do with the churches. I can’t really describe it in any other way than to say that there was a certain energy that fills the place. I had a couple of very intense experiences there. My favorite one was when I had this overwhelming urge to take my clothes off in the church. I can honestly say that this was new for me; I have never wanted to be nude in church. It gave me the giggles in the moment. I felt that I didn’t need clothes, and that they were keeping me from the truth somehow. Later I found out that St. Francis took all of his clothes off in church when he was going a bit mad before he started his order. I’m convinced he wanted me to join in the fun!
The town of Assisi sits high on a hill in Umbria. It is a medieval town and the old town is completely walled. The monastery and basilica sit on the edge of the top of the hill. The Basilica was beautiful, but I must admit it kind of made me mad. It seems to me to be in direct opposition to what St. Francis taught. It’s like the Catholic Church just didn’t listen to his message and did what they wanted to anyway. Typical.
The hostel I was staying at was a few hundred meters out of town, down a little road that cut through a winding olive grove. It reminded me of the street that I grew up on in Fallbrook, long and hilly. So on my way into town after dropping off my things at the hostel I did a bit of hitch hiking and ended up getting a grand tour of Assisi by car, which is something only locals can do. My tour guide was a sweet old guy named Franco. He showed me the whole city, and I am so grateful for his ride, cause it was at least 90 degrees outside and the whole town is one big hill. I ended my tour at St. Clare’s Basilica. Inside I saw her tomb and the cross that spoke to St. Francis and told him to rebuild his church. I was surprised to see that the cross is one that I have at my house, when I have a house. It’s pretty much the only catholic iconography that I treasure dearly. After, I headed up to Minerva’s temple, a Roman temple with a Catholic Church built right on top. Inside they were having mass, so I didn’t get to see the drains that were built in Roman times for the blood of the human sacrifices. Bummer! After I ate dinner, I took a slow sunset walk and drank in the incredible vista from St. Francis’s Basilica. Everything seems extra animated in Assisi. The plants seem to smile at you and all of the animals I met seemed to be very happy with their digs. I was exhausted when I finally made it back to the hostel and slept better than I have in weeks. I woke up early this morning to take a peak inside the Basilica and to pray with the monks. I so wanted to connect with them, but as usual, I just don’t find a spiritual connection with the religion of Catholicism anymore (sorry mom and dad) I really wish that it worked for me because it would be so easy. Instead, it’s a hodge-podge mash up of different spiritual paths for me. In actuality, that is what I found here in addition to all of the Catholic stuff. Hodge-podge spiritual mash ups. There is even an East-West center with meditation retreats. Maybe for my next trip to Italy!!
As I was waiting for my train to L’Aquilla a familiar face greeted me. The beautiful Bridgette from down under. It was the perfect ending to a perfect 24hours in Assisi. We shared a bit and I passed along my map and received a beautiful hug and some liquid love from a fellow basker of the light. Thank You and Goddess Bless.

getting cozy

The hostel experience ended up being a good one. What I’m enjoying about the hostels is that as a single traveler I can make friends with other single travelers, and there are more than you might expect. In Florence I met a beautiful light worker from Australia named Brigitte. We had a very intuitive, soulful conversation, and she inspired me and brought a new light to my life. I also shared a meal with a Frenchie mathematician named Jeremy and a cheery “Quebecer” named Maxine. And the cherry on my Florence hostel experience was a joyful guy named Will (I think) from San Francisco. He rode with me to the train station this morning and entertained me with clever observations about Italy. My favorite was when he pointed out that the guy cleaning the street was using a witches broom to sweep up with and that he must moonlight as a warlock on his days off. It still makes me giggle as I write this. I caught the train to Assisi with so much ease that I must be in the right place. It’s a nice quite train, perfect for bogging, and I arrive in town just in time for lunch. I look forward to seeing the home of one of my favorite historical figures. Ciao for now! (Hey that rhymes!)

the grand tourista

I woke up early today so I could get as much sightseeing in as possible. I’m only in Florence for one full day so I did my best to fill it up with as much touristy stuff as I could stomach. To be perfectly honest I hate running around being a tourist. I would much rather see a couple of things at a time, float around, wander, eat, and chat. The whirlwind, shove ten churches, three museums, and a trip to the zoo all in under in 15hours is not my style. I did, however, make an attempt today to see some stuff.
I decided to make my one big expensive tourist attraction Michelangelo’s David, and I am so glad that I did. The line went fast and all of the sudden it seemed I was standing in the presence of one of the most breathtaking pieces of Art that I have ever seen. Michelangelo once said that David was in that piece of marble all he had to do was take away the extra pieces to get to him. I don’t know about that, but I appreciate his humility. I can’t believe that a piece of rock could be shaped to express the depth of feeling and emotion that is present in David. It was truly awe-inspiring. I eavesdropped on an awesome tour guide and learned some interesting things about Renaissance art. One thing that he said that really struck me as something I could use in my life was that Michelangelo took what he knew, and then pushed it a bit farther into the unknown. And the result, was something new and amazing!
After David, I was really in a good mood. I wandered through the streets stopping at different churches and attending a few minutes of mass as I went along. I love all of the monks and nuns, and they are all over the place on Sunday. I ended up strolling along the Arno River and crossing it and stopping in a quiet little park along the riverside. After a power nap in the shade, I headed up the hill to get a view of Florence from up above. I wandered up and down and ended up walking along an ancient looking wall. At the bottom I stopped for a yummy bite to eat and then headed up again to check out the views from the other side of the hill. Amazing! At the top of the hill there is a big beautiful church where I ended up getting to hear an organ concert and Gregorian monks chant. It was the perfect church experience, and after seeing as many churches as I’ve seen in the last few months that says a lot. I decided that a shower was in order and I headed back out of town to freshen up before dinner. On the way I stopped in and had some homemade gelato from one of the best gellatoria in Italy, Vivoli’s. I tried the fig, and ended up going with chocolate orange and rice. They weren’t kidding around, it really is fantastic.

renaissance handbags

It was late afternoon when I arrived in the city center. The bus dropped me off right outside of the Duomo (Cathedral). Its difficult to find words to describe how cool the Cathedral is. I am so amazed at how each city has an equally stunning Cathedral, and yet each one is so very, very, different. It was fun to see the giant bronze doors that I remember seeing in slides way back in Art History Class. I also saw the original gold doors that the Grace Cathedral in San Francisco has copies of. As I wandered through the streets of Florence I couldn’t help but feel like I was walking through a living history of the Renaissance. I really got a sense of the extravagance of the Medici family and there love for beauty. Walking over the Ponte Vechio I stopped to watch the sunset over the Arno river. Bellisima! I noticed a clump of padlocks on the bridge and found out later what they were. It seems that Italian guys take their girlfriends to the bridge, lock the padlock as a symbol of there love and throw the key into the river. Its sounds good as a story, but I’m not sure how I would react to it if it happened to me. But I do love the drama of it all!!
I wandered back over to the bus stop through the endless sheets full of Chinese knockoff handbags. And there it was, the Gucci fanny pack that I had seen in the Gucci store and have been looking for on the street since the second week I arrived in Italy. Haggling is one of my new favorite skills. It’s all about the walk away. You decide on a price and if you don’t get that price you walk away. And then they chase you down and give it to you for what you asked for. It works every time. I wanted a fanny pack because in my mind it is an Italian institution. People of all ages ware them and it was the only thing, other than a pair of orange pants, that I wanted to remind me of my time here. And let me just say that it is FABULOUS! I feel like I’m walking around without a bag, and after all the luggage hauling of the last few days, it’s the ultimate freedom.!!

afternoon hike

Getting from the train station to my hostel was a cinch. The Bus to and from the hostel goes through the center of town and begins and ends at the station and that made life in Florence very manageable. What really sucked was the hike form the bus stop to the actual hostel. The hostel was located just outside of the city center in an old villa. I was thinking villa, not hiking. Unfortunately, when you’re backpacking, which I just realized I am doing, there aren’t bellman or shuttles to the door of the hotel. My inner princess woke up from her slumber to scream and yell at the inhumanity of it all! When I finally made it to the hostel I was exasperated. Then they told me that my room was on the second floor (the third floor in Italy) and I almost lost it (on the inside of course) I recovered by taking a shower and heading out to explore Florence at night.

saturday awakenings

Woke up today and ate a big, beautiful breakfast for hostel standards, and headed off to the stazione to see about a train to Florence. I decided to save the mosaics for another trip. I couldn’t help but feel Rick Steve’s judgmental eyes looking down at me, ashamed that I would come all the way to Ravenna and not see the sights. Whatever, I look at is a reason to come back. I really enjoyed Ravenna. It was a great mixture of city, beach, and farmlands. My bike ride was amazing, and I could’ve spent a few days there just enjoying the quiet beach and the good reasonably priced food. Allora, my journey to Florence took me all day. I had to transfer trains in Bologna, and my train was delayed a half an hour. I wasn’t all that bothered by it, but for some reason whenever I have all of my stuff, little things add up and make my day more difficult. One of the major downs to traveling alone is that when you have to pee, or you want to run over and check a train schedule or pretty much do anything that would only take a second if you didn’t have a huge backpack and a rolly bag, it ends up taking forever and a ton of muscle because you have to drag all of your stuff instead of asking your friend to watch it for you.
Traveling on the weekend was a casino! (That’s what the Italians call a messy, logistical, nightmare) All of the trains were super packed and there was absolutely no legroom. It wasn’t the relaxing train ride I was looking forward to. However, the countryside made up for what the train was lacking. It was absolutely beautiful I found that everything everyone has ever said to me about the Tuscan hills is true. Out the window of the train I saw endless rolling fields, cypress trees, olive trees, and grapevines. Beautiful tangerine colored villas dotted the countryside. Fields of sunflowers glowed in the sunlight. It made me smile a deep smile of gratitude for my good fortune.

on the road again

Saying goodbye was hard. I managed to drag my tired arse out of bed at 6:30 this morning to get to the train station for my 7:23 train to Ravenna. After waking up Pietro and giving him goodbye kisses, I hauled my stuff over to the station. My body reacted to my gear worse than I would have hoped for. Turns out I'm a little outta shape. I can't begin to imagine why. Of course the signs were all wrong at the station so I missed my first train, but lucky for me there was a train soon after. I love the train. It is the most relaxing way to travel. No security lines. No driving, you just sit back and relax. I got into Ravenna at 11am just in time to drop my things at thru hostel before they close for the afternoon. I arrived at the same time as this lovely girl from Boston, Emily, was arriving. She is a student at Harvard and her summer job is working for Lets Go! Guidebooks. Needless to say she had all the good info on town and was super efficient. We decided to meet tonight for dinner, which was great so neither of us had to eat alone. I grabbed one of the loner bikes from the hostel and headed off to explore. There is a whole lot of biking going on here and no helmets. Babies are on the back of bikes without helmets. It's insane. It would be fine if it weren’t such a mess trying to navigate around. But traffic doesn't seem to be very organized, its really each man for himself out there. I freaked out trying to find the city center and headed out to the beach instead. Perfecto! It was 10 kilometers each way and the bike I used was a one speed that weighed around 75llbs. It was a bit of a struggle, but great for my tan! I relaxed on the beach for a couple of hours and remembered once again what a beach bum I am. I saw the kids playing in the sand and remembered how great it was growing up on the beach. Tuna fish sandwiches and sand castles till sunset. After, I trudged back to the hostel met my other roommates, two girls from Cupertino who just graduated from High School, sweet girls. Am I really a decade older than them?? Allora, I showered and met Emily for dinner. We ate some of the best food I've had and it was SO cheap compared to Venice. In fact Ravenna is CHEAP!! The hostel is 13e a night with free everything. It’s wonderful!!! After dinner Emily went on ahead to do some work and I wandered off into the park cause I saw some people doing Tai Chi. I took Tai Chi a few years ago and whenever I see people doing it I always want to play. So this time I joined in and ended up getting a free lesson from Andrea the teacher. It was a lovely way to get grounded and to work through some of the pain incurred this afternoon on the bike. Tomorrow I wake up to see the mosaics and head out to Florence. Yet another magical day spent on the road.